Western Manners

It is a great help for the person who is learning a foreign language to know some customs and manners for the people who speaks it, because the language is very closely associated with them. I will tell you some common western manners.

1. Meeting and Greeting People 

1) Greeting The simplest thing to say is "Good morning," "Good afternoon'" or "good evening." This greeting is given to one whom you know only slightly(adv. 些微地，轻微地；纤细地), or to any one you are passing quickly. "How are you" is usually used when you are not in such a hurry. No answer is expected other than " Fine, thank you." "hello" is the commonest(共同的) form of greeting between good friends.

2) When a Man raises his hat if you are wearing a hat which can be taken bold of easily, it is customary(n. 习惯法汇编) to raise it slightly off your head when you greet a girl or a woman.

3) When to shake hands It is customary to shake hands when you first meet someone. And usually friends shake hands when they meet after not having seen each other for some time. However it is not necessary to shake hands.

4) Use the person's Name It is always good form to use the name of the person you are greeting. You might say,"Good Morning, Mr. Moncrieff" or " Hello, Franklin." A person's surname should be used unless he is good friend or school-mate.

2. Introduction 

1) How to Introduce People In introducing two people, the general rule is: Introduce other people to the person you wish to honor . The old are honored in the West as in China. Women have been honoured(n. 荣誉；尊敬；勋章

vt. 尊敬) in the West since the days of knighthood(骑士时代）.

2) Rising at Introduction A man always rise for an introduction, except that it is sometimes all right for an elderly man to remain seated when a young man is introduced to him. The hostess always rises for an introduction.

3) Introducing Yourself If you want to meet someone, it is better to ask a friend who know him to introduce you. But sometimes at a meeting or gathering it is all right to introduce yourself to a fellow- student, or to one of the same sex and position.

3. Invitation 

1) You must reply(vt. 回答；答复) to an Invitation foreign custom is much more strict than Chinese custom in the matter of replying to invitations. When you receive an invitation you should answer it immediately(adv. 立即，立刻；直接地), saying definitely whether you are able to accept it or not.

2) Written or verbal reply if the invitation is given by word of mouth, in conversation or at a chance meeting, you should answer at once whether you can come or not. If you cannot give an answer at that time, you may say, "May I let you know this evening?" Or some such words.

4. In the Home 

1) The Right Time to Arrive When invited to luncheon(n. 午宴), dinner, or supper, it is very impolite to arrive late, as it is usually planned to have the meal at the exact hour given in the invitation.

2) In arrival When you arrive, the hostess or some member of the family will probably meet you at the door and take your coat and hat. In the winter time you should dress more lightly than usually, as you may expect the rooms to be warmer than in most Chinese homes.

3) In a few minutes the hostess will ask her guests to come in to dinner. She may or may not ask each gentleman to take a lady in. If she does, the lady will take the gentleman's arm as they walk into the dinning room. If she does not, the ladies will go in first, followed by the gentlemen. The hostess(n. 女主人) will either point out their seats to the guests as they come in or have a place card at each place with the guests name on it.

4) How long to stay after the meal is over it is not polite to leave for at least half an hour, lest you seem to have come only for the meal. An evening dinner invitation usually implies that you stay for the whole evening. The hostess often plans some after-dinner entertainment.

5) What to Say on Leaving When leaving any kind of a party, a guest always expresses his appreciation to the hostess. Some such words as these are appropriate. "Thank you so much. I've had a delight(n. 高兴) evening."

5. Table Manners 

1) As soon as the hostess picks up her napkin, pick yours up and lay it on your lap. Sometimes a roll of bread is wrapped in it; if so, toke it our and put it on your side plate.

2) The Soup Course Dinner usually begins with soup. The largest spoon(n. 匙，勺子；一杓的量) at your place is the soup spoon. It will be beside your plate at the right-hand side.

3) The Fish Course If there is a fish course, it will probably follow the soup. There may be a special fork for the fish, or it may be similar to the meat fork. Often it is smaller.

4) The Meat Course The main Course is usually served by the host himself, especially if it is a fowl or a roast which need to be carved. He will often ask each guest what piece he prefers, and it is quite proper to state your preference as to lean or fat, dark（红肉） or light（白肉）.

5) Using Knife and Fork If you have English and American friends you will notice a few differences in their customs of eating. For the main or meat curse, the English keep the fork in the left hand, point curved downward, and bring the food to the mouth either by sticking the points onto it or in the case of soft vegetables, by placing it firmly on the fork in this position with the knife. Americans carve the meat in the same position, then lay down the knife and taking the fork in the right hand with the point turned up, push it under a small piece of food without the help of the knife and bring it to the moth right-side-up.

6) Helping Yourself and Refusing If a servant passes food around, he will pass the dish in at your left hand so that you can convenient ly serve yourself with your right hand. Never serve yourself while the dish is on your right; it is th en the turn of your neighbor on the right. It is polite to take some of everything that is passed to y ou. But if there is something you may not like, you may quietly say: "No thank you."

7) Second helpings the hostess may or may not ask if you would like a second helping, according to the formality of the m eal. If she does and you accept it, you should pass your plate to her or to the servant with the kni fe and fork still lying on it.

8) The salad course a salad is eaten with a fork only held in the right hand with points turned up. There is usually a spe cial one for the salad, a little smaller than the meat fork.

9) Bread and butter bread is taken in the fingers and laid on the side plate or the edge of the large plate, it is never take with a fork. Butter is taken from the butter dish with the butter knife and placed on the side pl ate, not on one's bread.

10) Other things on the table when there are things on the middle of the table, such as bread, butter, jelly, pickles, nits, candies , you should not take any until the hostess ahs suggested that they be passed.

11) Leaving the table it is impolite for a guest to leave the table during a meal, or before the hostess gives the signal at the end. When the hostess indicates that the dinner is over, she will start to rise from her seat and all the guests will rise from theirs at the same time.

12) Various rules and suggestions sit up straight on your chair; Do not put much food in your mouth at a time; Drink only when there is no food in your mouth; Try not to get into your mouth anything that will have to be taken out; Do not make any nose when you eat; Do not clean your teeth at the table or anywhere in public, either with your finger or a tooth pick(牙签), not even with you tongue(n. 舌头；语言).

6. In School 

1)Greeting the Teacher If you are in a very large class, it may not be necessary to greet the teacher on arriving, but it is always quite proper if you happen to catch the teacher's eye as you enter.

2) Coming Late It is bad manners to come late to class. If you are unavoidably late an apology should be made to the teacher either at the time or after class.

3) Talking in Class It if bad manners in the schoolroom, as elsewhere, to talk while anyone else is taking.

7. In Public Places 

1) Traffic Laws The coming of the motor car made definite traffic law and regulations a practical necessity. To obey t hese law is not so much a matter of curtsey(礼貌） as a moral obligation（义务）.

2) For People Walking People walking should keep to the sidewalks and should keep to the right of the sidewalk. 3) The Theater The theater proper is more formal than the movies. At the theater best clothes are in order; evening c lothes are often worn.

4) The Movies The movies are more informal. Any kind of respectable clothes may be worn, and small confection(糖果） may be eaten quietly as long as there are no objectionable(adj. 讨厌的；会引起反对的；有异议的) noses to annoy one's neighbors.

5) In Church(n. 教堂；礼拜；教派) It is usual for anyone attending church to take some money along for the offering, as it is a regular part of every church service and is used for the work of the church. Good clothes, but never evening clothes, are worn to a church service.

8. Special Occasions 

1) Birthday Birthday in the West, as in China, are considered occasions for congratulations and sometimes for gifts from near friends.

2)The Wedding If one receives an announcement(n. 公告；宣告；发表；通告) of a wedding after it is over, a note of congratulation may be sent, but a gift is not necessary.

3) The Funeral Funerals, of course, are always sand, but the tendency(n. 倾向，趋势；癖好) in Western countries is against making any show of one's feelings at the funeral(n. 丧葬，葬礼). The idea behind this is that the person dead would wish this last meeting of his friends in his honor and remembrance(n. 回想，回忆；纪念品；记忆力)to be full of tender, happy recollections of his life.

9. With Strangers and Friends 

1) Lending and borrowing are more matters of principle in the West than in the East. Things borrowed in the West are definitely expected to be returned, whether it is fifty dollars or merely a friend's pencil.

2) Don't be burious it is impolite to be curious about the private affairs of others, such as age, salary, religion and marriage.

3) Thanks for Gifts When some one gives you a present, it is very impolite to neglect(vt. 疏忽，忽视；忽略) thank him for it.

4) One Hand Only In china we use two hands when giving something to a person, or when receiving it, if we want to be very polite. In the West this would seem awkward and impolite.

10. Personal Habits and Appearance 

1) People judge you at first by what they see, so particular attention should be paid to your personal appearance.

2) Using a Handkerchief Always carry a clean handkerchief. Do not use it while it is folded, and do not fold it after you use it.

3)Spitting(v. 吐痰；吐出；) In the West it is considered very impolite to spit, even upon the street.

4) Smoking Smoking is very prevalent(adj. 流行的；普遍的，广传的), both by men and by women. If you are a guest in a home where no others are smoking, it is better to refrain(忍住） from smoking, you may say, "Would you mind if I smoked?".

11. Some Points for Men 

1) With a lady always allow the lady to precede you in places where one has to go before the other except in the foll owing case: when getting off a street car, train, bus, or out of an automobile; when going up stair; when opening a heavy door. When you are walking along the street with a lady, always walk on the outside.

2) At a dance If you wish to dance with a certain lady, go to her, bow, and say:" May I have the pleasure of a dance?" Meet new friends, find pen-pals and language learning partners, or meet your ideal match!